Monday, February 14, 2011

Long time..

So long in fact, I forgot I even had an account.

A lot has happened to me lately, lost my love, lost my heart, lost my mind, I even tried to kill myself by taking a couple bottles of pills, unfortunately, my body is too strong for that and all i got was a very high heart rate of about 195 beats per minute for about 12 hours straight. My arm has cigarette burns and I really dont see a point in living anymore. When I took those pills I felt happy, relieved and at peace, something I havent felt for ages. Maybe I'm just nuts, hell.. its not like anyone reads my blog xD

But yeah, life is a bitch, maybe im just a weak person, someone without a cause, or maybe there really isnt a point in living when we are all going to die anyway, why put up with the pain and hate of this world when peace is only a few bottles of pills away? Its my own life, Im not physically harming anyone else, the only crime im committing is my own death.

I am not a fan of what Ive become, ive become controlling, a jerk, OCD, a smoker, a toker (not that there is anything wrong with marijuana and people should be able to use it whenever they want) Ive become nothing more than a nuisance to society, no one has ever wanted me, no one ever will, Im nothing more than a bag of water with $6.87 of precious metals in my system, maybe i should add a few cents of lead to that.

Whoever does end up reading this will either relate to me or be disgusted with me, but thats your choice.

1 comment:

  1. This honestly breaks my heart, I know I don't know you but I can see that you are going through a hard time right now. Heart breaks are the worse and I know it seems the only things to do is to stop your aching pain. I want you to know that things will work out in the end, I know people must be telling you that all the time... but it will. It may be dark but soon light will shine back into your life. There are so many great things to live for, you just need to go out into the world and find them. I went through a hard time in my life and thankfully I got the stength to do better, now i'm in school and engaged. I know things will get better for you:)

    Fell better good sir,
    Troy's sister Brooke
    your in my prayers