Have you ever run into a person that just goes out of their way to piss you off? Well.. My father is one of those people, he will do anything to piss me off. Lately, he hasnt been filling the milk, yesterday i had to fill it 3 times. But today.. ohhh.. I am getting my revenge for that,Ive taken all the milk jugs and hidden them. I wonder how pissy he will get when he cant have his milk. What should i say? I dont know where they went.. or maybe.. "When you grow up and fill the milk then I will give them back." Either way, inside I am enjoying this evilness and payback. I wonder if there is anything else I can do to get a rise out of him for pissing me off all these years.
So The weekend is getting close, I wish I could spend it with my ex, but chances are slim. Loneliness sucks.. I dont know why I still love her so much, even after shes cheated on me countless times, lied to me nonstop, gets pissed at me for absolutely no reason. Why must a lot of women be the right hand of satan? I have yet to have a girlfriend who hasnt cheated on me, or done something so incredibly stupid it makes you want to jump off a bridge. Even my first girlfriend cheated on me and got pregnant, i broke up with her and 2 days later she was in alberta engaged to another guy. My second girlfriend, the one where i finally felt what love was like.. She lost her virginity to her best friends dad. And now, My newest ex.. cheated on me with easily a dozen guys, both online and in person. Why must love be so painful? Maybe I am just a sucker for punishment, maybe love is a loaded gun.
Why must I have such a big heart and let everyone stomp on it? Maybe I should just die and end the pain.
Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Long time..
So long in fact, I forgot I even had an account.
A lot has happened to me lately, lost my love, lost my heart, lost my mind, I even tried to kill myself by taking a couple bottles of pills, unfortunately, my body is too strong for that and all i got was a very high heart rate of about 195 beats per minute for about 12 hours straight. My arm has cigarette burns and I really dont see a point in living anymore. When I took those pills I felt happy, relieved and at peace, something I havent felt for ages. Maybe I'm just nuts, hell.. its not like anyone reads my blog xD
But yeah, life is a bitch, maybe im just a weak person, someone without a cause, or maybe there really isnt a point in living when we are all going to die anyway, why put up with the pain and hate of this world when peace is only a few bottles of pills away? Its my own life, Im not physically harming anyone else, the only crime im committing is my own death.
I am not a fan of what Ive become, ive become controlling, a jerk, OCD, a smoker, a toker (not that there is anything wrong with marijuana and people should be able to use it whenever they want) Ive become nothing more than a nuisance to society, no one has ever wanted me, no one ever will, Im nothing more than a bag of water with $6.87 of precious metals in my system, maybe i should add a few cents of lead to that.
Whoever does end up reading this will either relate to me or be disgusted with me, but thats your choice.
A lot has happened to me lately, lost my love, lost my heart, lost my mind, I even tried to kill myself by taking a couple bottles of pills, unfortunately, my body is too strong for that and all i got was a very high heart rate of about 195 beats per minute for about 12 hours straight. My arm has cigarette burns and I really dont see a point in living anymore. When I took those pills I felt happy, relieved and at peace, something I havent felt for ages. Maybe I'm just nuts, hell.. its not like anyone reads my blog xD
But yeah, life is a bitch, maybe im just a weak person, someone without a cause, or maybe there really isnt a point in living when we are all going to die anyway, why put up with the pain and hate of this world when peace is only a few bottles of pills away? Its my own life, Im not physically harming anyone else, the only crime im committing is my own death.
I am not a fan of what Ive become, ive become controlling, a jerk, OCD, a smoker, a toker (not that there is anything wrong with marijuana and people should be able to use it whenever they want) Ive become nothing more than a nuisance to society, no one has ever wanted me, no one ever will, Im nothing more than a bag of water with $6.87 of precious metals in my system, maybe i should add a few cents of lead to that.
Whoever does end up reading this will either relate to me or be disgusted with me, but thats your choice.
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